Have you ever wondered who was listening? When you talk I listen.


It is only natural that you seek people.  Do you really feel that you find friends, or do they find you?  We all seem to have types of people that seem to use us as the watering hole for conversation.  No matter how you try to engage in chit-chat, you find yourself deeply mired by the I and Me proclamations for a better understanding.  As I allow myself to be the sounding board, the little watering hole gets drained of energy due to more conversation.  Oh, I truly mean not the conversation, really, it is the “listening”.  The story goes with the explanation of facts and feeling on how all this comes to be then, out of nowhere comes the question.  Wow.  And without a break, there is the answer given,  with a value judgment explaining how you feel and would respond in the manner in which they explain.  There comes a point at which there seems to be the need to clarify the aforementioned statements, silence seems to be the best response.  And so goes the rest of the time. 

If you have had this type of “friend”, you may get a twinge of weird with a smidgen of anger encountering these conversations.  If not you are much more separated or just allow the wind to blow through one ear and out the other.  In most people’s lives, they may encounter this type of person two or three times in a lifetime.

I feel as though I am the magnet for these moments.  Through the years I can honestly recall at least two to three individuals that find the watering hole, for every ten years of my life gladly accepting the challenge.  With each encounter, listening (hearing) was key to a journey to awareness.  The meaning of allowing this to happen is, without judgment, while they express the continuum there may be a moment that they realize where they are fulfilling a need.       

These and similar types of people are not aware of others and the importance of which others may have a need to be heard as well.  With many, a clinical environment would require a listener to point out certain aspects of information to meet the goal of a series of meetings.  Then the meat becomes spicier.  The listener begins to ask questions that would require a value judgment entwined in the answer.  When the talker becomes aware of what is being said, they have a moment of listening to what was said but not heard.  Then and only then is a chance of an “Aha” moment.

Why would this carry any importance in any relationship? 

Would you be willing to be a sounding board?

 

NEXT TIME

Visit our website: http//www.myclosecompanion.com

 

Photo: Google Images, Shutterstock

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